graveyard 

He’s the soldier on the front-line
               but not a soldier at all
    Just a goodhearted civilian
who’s bound to fall
He’s all the reasons to pull the trigger
                     and all the reasons to not
Because everyone else’s life is worth more,
    than the one he’s got
They said he’s bound to go crazy
said he’s bound to fall
            But that’s just fine with him
      if he saves them all
He’s the fear behind your courage
that whisper in your ear
                      That little spark of bravery
to last you one more year
He can hear the Devil calling
          and he’s singing the blues
     Words like fire against his ear
whispering, “I guess you lose.”
        And if you told him he’s a winner
He’d shake his head and look away
         But keep telling him, because it’s true
He’ll believe you some day
And when his flame goes out,
      God forbid it will
            On his tombstone it’ll read,
“Sam Winchester, a hero still.”

confessional 

Confess to me, dear, your greatest sin
Whisper it to me slow, let it sink it
Till it burns through my skin, 
   and slides into my veins
Corrupt me, I dare you, I’ll never be the same
Tell me, dear, your darkest wish 
   Like a sensual touch,
          Like a forceful kiss
Till it strikes my heart,
     my brain,
  my thoughts
Wrap your words around,
Overpower me at all costs 
Submit to me what you want and need
  Stab me just like a knife,
   make sure it bleeds
Strike a match inside of me
  Ignite it, don’t fight it
And it’s burning, I feel it
the passion, the desire
   Don’t dare stop, I’m on fire
Make me scream, make me yell
And be sure to tell 
   that the closest thing to Heaven,
must be Hell 

Finished and accompanied poem to this photoset. 

there was us 

The term is:
   ’attached at the hip’
but not us, no
it’s more like:
 ’attached at the heart’
Because you are me,
and I am you
   end of story.
Period.
I remember when I was young,
there I was —
   screaming because I need you,
          crying because I love you
with no other way to show it
but with wet eyes,
  and a burning heart
And over the years it hasn’t changed much
I love you like I did those years ago—
maybe more, if possible
   But with us—
only impossible’s possible.
I remember just yesterday,
there I was —
     screaming because I need you,
            crying because I love you 
And you were beside me always
“Because that’s what family does,” you said.
   and I loved you like a lover would.  

illusions  

Do you believe in happy endings, dear—
more than you believe in reality,
more than you believe in the past ?
Because if you do—
you’ve got a long road ahead of you
Do you believe in true love, dear—
the way he believes in you
the way he sees the hero in you
the way he sees the good in you
Because if you do—
at least you’ve got something to hold on to
Do you believe in peace, dear—
a day when you don’t have to fight,
a day when you don’t have to kill,
a day when it’s just you and him ? 
Because if you do—
you better keep dreaming, kid 
Do you believe in Heaven, dear—
even though it ruined both of you
even though it broke you
even though it killed you?
Because if you do—
you’ve got more faith than you’re given credit
Do you believe in him, dear—
your brother above all else,
your brother when no one’s left,
your brother when all is here ?
Because if you do—
you better tell him before he gets away
Do you believe in happy endings, dear—
more than you believe in fate,
more than you believe in trust,
more than you believe in him?
Tell me, do you believe in anything, dear? 

irony, dear 

It’s different when it’s your final seconds—
bloody knuckles, racing heart, thinning breath
    When your brother is beaten—
by your hands, your power, your anger
And even if you don’t deserve it, he’s saying,
                 ”I’m not leaving you, it’s okay…”
It’s not the same when it has to end like this—
an unworthy showdown between brothers,
  who still love each other, even
love each other ‘till the grave, you guess
    And you understand a love like that 
It’s world-shaking and ground-breaking that you—
find strength to stop the Devil
And your brother said once,
“We’re working on the power of love”
         Well, damn, it worked 
You stop, freeze, stay
You can feel your fist uncurling, light shining
   (you can’t hurt him anymore)
 And you find a way to say —
“Dean, it’s okay. I’ve got him. It’s okay…”
It’s all the same when the question is this:
     save my brother, or let him die? 
It’s not even a decision, really
It’s natural, an impulse, the only thing you know—
                And when you fall, you fall with pride,
     because you’re saving a life
And because of you, they can say:
“Well, at least the war is over.” 

count ‘em; 1, 2 ,3 … 

One time for the memory, 
   two times for pleasure —
Three times for love,
         then one more for good measure —
Five times for the tears,
    for the pain, and whatever
And six times for the smiles in Heaven together
Seven times for the show,
     you know eight’s for the road —
  then two more time for the truth,
     and the stories untold
Eleven times for your heart,
   and twelve for your soul —
Thirteen for the empty promise,
  of us growing old
Fourteen for our mother,
   and our father, too
And fifteen for the age we finally thought,
  “it’s just me and you”
Sixteen for our hardships,
both angels and demons alike
  and seventeen for the time in your life,
when you were ready to take flight—
Eighteen for adulthood,
  we’re all grown up now
and nineteen for the world,
that can never take us down 

war slaves 

Give me a path,
and I’ll show you the light
Give me a reason,
and I’ll show you a fight
Between two boys;
both loyal and strong
But according to the world,
have done so much wrong
Give a haven,
and I’ll show you a savior
Give me a hand,
and I’ll return the favor
Like a lost angel with no one to rely
but still without a doubt will try
  (and try)
Give me a dagger,
and I’ll show you a heart
Give me an ending,
and I’ll show you a start
Of three unsung heros
who want nothing in return
Than nothing simpler than love,
and the thanks they’ve earned 

time bomb 

Poor boy, it’s just a matter of time
     before you’ve finally gone out your mind
Tell me this:
           how much can you take?
             Lonely nights, the death, and heartache
And before you reply let me say,
    that it’s a long while before things are okay
Because surely you can fake a smile,
and just say you’re fine,
       it’ll last a while
But tell me this:
what will you do,
when your brother runs out on you?
       Or when he takes his final breath for sure
          And you feel alone once more
Because it’s just you and him for now,
         tomorrow,
    and the days to follow
And surely the pain’s too thick to swallow
   It’s written all over your face, the pain is
           Etched in your soul,
        and carved into your ribs
So don’t waste your energy with a fake smile
   Because it’d soon dry and begin to rust
We all know everything you touch turns to dust 

stuntman 

Darling boy, you’ve got a hero in your bones
       fire prone,
   and shotgun ready
And you’ve got a light in your heart
            easily shattered,
      but not readily taken
Oh boy, you’ve got a hole in your consciousness—
   small, but not small enough
           all your sins still burn through
And dear boy, you’re a guardian 
   but that’s not enough from you
So you’re leaping from tall buildings
  in promise of his life
Because you were trained to not give up
       not at least without a fight
Oh boy, you’re a firefighter on the rise
   pulling him from danger
     of the heat,
 of the passion,
   of you
But you want him to burn in your bones
   and melt in your skin
     and scream your name
over and over again
Until his throat burns red
   and his face turned blue
Because, dear boy —
there’s a hero inside of you 

definition of us 

Tell me a story —
where we are not us,
       but we are not them either
And life isn’t this
        ( and it surely isn’t that )
                        but it’s the other 
Write me a song —
      where we’re not in Heaven,
but we are in Hell
because Heaven is your name
and I don’t deserve you
       ( to have you, keep you, or love you )
Sing me a tune —
                                    where I am not evil
             and unknown by good
where I’m more of a breeze,
        but less understood 
( because I fly right by )
Tell me a tale
of a place better than this
It’s not Earth nor salvation
            but farther than the skies
     where dreams are not ludicrous 
          and fears are unheard of
Whisper me a plea
        where you are not you
                   and I am not me
   where my name is not Sam
and yours is not Dean
          and we are just free
   ( free of being )
Tell me there’s a place
where names have no meaning